Tag: funny
member name: sheila ~the hapless housewife~ j.
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February 18, 2008 01:06 PM EST --
( This is meant in fun, so if you're easily offended, don't read!)
Husbands are funny creatures! Not "ha-ha" funny, but just plain baffling ( or weird, you choose). . . .
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January 19, 2008 10:26 AM EST --
I had to trudge a mile from the parking lot to the front of the store. Once inside, I couldn't help but witness the chaos. People were running from aisle to aisle, climbing over each . . .
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January 13, 2008 01:10 PM EST --
I anxiously glance at the clock; it's 7:45. Only 5 more minutes and I can leave. The first store I'm going to hit opens at eight, so I have to leave at 7:50. If I drive . . .
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December 14, 2008 06:58 PM EST --
My daughter and I are watching a movie on the Sci-fi channel. In it some hula dancers are dancing around in coconut bras. A question popped in my head.- ( I can't help it, I have weird thoughts sometimes . . .
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March 23, 2008 05:23 PM EDT --
. . .
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December 24, 2008 01:27 PM EST --
Boy, I've had a lot of these lately!
My youngest stepdaughter is getting ready to have her nose pierced. It made me wonder-
After a nose is pierced, once the stud is out and the piercing . . .
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February 19, 2008 04:27 PM EST --
(I'm republishing some of my old poems)
I love my kids, I love my life
Too bad that I don't have a wife.
I'm a woman, it is true
But I have way too much to . . .
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March 26, 2008 08:31 AM EDT --
I cleaned my fridge, cleaned it well-
didn't know I was in for a day of hell
It all started when I reached way in the back
and came across an ominous, mysterious pack.
"What's . . .
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May 12, 2008 01:40 PM EDT --
Dear Hapless Houswife,
Here is a question, I'm sure many women-married, or in a relationship with a man-would enjoy an answer to; How can the remote control batteries be changed, . . .
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December 30, 2008 05:45 PM EST --
You know, I've never stood in the middle of a nascar track with cars speeding by me at 200 miles an hour, but it couldn't be more dangerous than when I tried to clearance shop at Target this morning! . . .
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January 04, 2007 07:58 PM EST --
Housewives should revolt! Do you realize how hard that job is? All these people run for office, but do you see anyone running for a 4 year term as housewife? I can just see the winning . . .
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February 10, 2007 07:03 PM EST --
Kids go from one extreme to the other. First they want a dinner at the toilet because they love it so much. Have you ever seen a 3 year old drag a sleeping bag to the potty? It gives . . .
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January 12, 2008 12:51 PM EST --
Okay, . . .
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January 14, 2008 02:01 PM EST --
There were coupons for soy joy bars in the paper. Why they include the word "joy" in the title, I'll never know. Is the taste supposed to send a burst of happiness across your . . .
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January 14, 2008 07:16 PM EST --
Do you know what happens to a coupon after it's been used at the store? Have you ever heard of the coupon ranch? Oh, it's a magical place!
After you give . . .
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February 13, 2008 05:04 PM EST --
(I'm republishing some of my old poems)
Why is it, everytime
I try to take a drive
My husband acts like it's a crime
And grateful to arrive?
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March 24, 2008 11:43 AM EDT --
AAAAAAAA! Don't get me wrong, I love my husband. I just love him better when I don't have to spend every day with him.
I'm used to nice, quiet, peaceful days. . . .
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May 02, 2008 11:05 AM EDT --
(Republished so it can be spotlighted)
I anxiously glance at the clock; it's 7:45. Only 5 more minutes and I can leave. The first store I'm going to hit opens at eight, so I . . .
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May 15, 2008 12:52 PM EDT --
(republished for spotlighting) . . .
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March 24, 2008 07:33 PM EDT --
Oh, lend me your ears as I tell you
A housewife's lament, both sad and true
How her trusty helper passed away
And how her tears fell on that fateful day.
A day like any other, . . .
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